(considering this blog is more like a diary than anything else, I’m just going to record my thoughts here)
(this post is not very coherent cuz they are all thoughts anyway)
Sitting at Panopolis, typing, trying to complete my work. I’m kind of worried because I’m scared my real IB won’t be as good as my Prelims. But thinking back, I don’t think I would have the time to work harder, anyway. The past few weeks have been all about IAs, applications, personal statements, deciding where to apply to, etc.
Oh well, just got to keep calm and do this poo. Mom says it’s harder to stay brave than panic, and I really agree. I just need to complete the things I need to do that can prepare me sufficiently for the final IB exams. Do the commentaries I need to do. Study my lit texts in greater detail. Review econs, review my past mistakes. Write a couple more essays. Memorise my bio and do questions. Because practice is all that counts.
Was just thinking about it, and I realised the only thing I’ve been passionate about is the value of grit over intelligence (although I hardly practise what I preach and laze around all the time). I remember reading an article for Angela Duckling on how some kids may be smart, but what determines how successful we will be in the future is out grit, our willingness to work hard without giving up, our perseverance. I suppose I want this post to be a pre-IB inspirational post, so listen carefully: ultimately, it’s hard work that counts. I have countless of friends who have never struck me as the “smart” type but they went on to do amazingly in PSLE. They did like 5-10 exam papers a week (gee, I only did 1 paper before the final exam); I’m not saying that they are unintelligent, rather, I’m pointing out the value of hard work. I think most of us should disregard the value of intelligence, because intelligence without hard work is nothing, and valuing intelligence can only demoralise us. When we admit that a person does well because the person is smart, we are, at the same time, insinuating that we aren’t as smart and thus don’t do as well. Which is silly because natural intelligence is something we cannot really change, so by choosing to think that intelligence is the primary factor that can allow one to succeed, we are admitting defeat and choosing to accept our inadequacies. In other words, it’s tantamount to saying that people who are not as smart will never succeed because it is something they cannot change. Which kinda takes away the value of doing anything.
Anyway, I’m not going to throw my life away for a boy so Sophia, keep your brain straight and focus. <– this is more to remind myself than anything. Pft, crushing is so futile. Sometimes, I wish I can extend my stoicism in the face of sentimental events to things like crushes and infatuations. I see crushing as an emotional weakness (which basically means I’ve been weak all my life but oh well). I guess the good thing about graduating is that I can finally focus on myself, and not see people whom I don’t want to see (it’s my problem, not theirs). Life will be a lot easier this way.
Other good things about graduating:
- IBs are drawing closer, and the scent of freedom is getting thicker.
- No more getting angry over noise
- Getting closer to studying subjects I am truly passionate about, which are unfortunately only offered to undergrads/grads.
- Finding a boy(friend) *winks*
- No more bad food
- No more uniforms
Bad things about graduating
- No more jokes and randomly talking to/having fun with people whom you’re friends with but not close enough to talk outside of school.
- IBs getting closer
- No more school-spirit-ish kind of things that fill you with indescribable warmth
- I think the main thing is no more interactions with people you like as a friend or whatnot, interactions that are somewhat superficial but still fun, although unsustainable outside the context of school
- TRYING TO GET INTO A UNIVERSITY!
So, this is about it.