I don’t know if people know this, but the truth is, Barney is actually—
A Purple Pedophile
Yes, you read that right. Barney is a disgusting purple lau teeko*.
I have no idea where i first heard this assertion, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me. Have you ever found a grown man prancing in a purple suit creepy? Well, of course! We all have! How about that wide gaping mouth that always seems to be laughing? I mean, who on earth can be happy all the time?
Anyway, I did a google search and realised the notion of Barney being a pedophile is actually a widely known. Here is a screen grab from the google search:
If you’ve already reflected on your past and are still not convinced that Barney’s a total creep, here are more reasons why:
- Barney is a grown man/dinosaur always playing with other people’s kids. (Like, hello, isn’t this enough to ring alarm bells?)
- Barney hugs and touches the kids all the time. (Ah, now Barney’s getting physical)
- Barney says “I love you” way too much. (Seriously. You don’t just go around loving someone else’s kid)
- Barney goes “we are happy family”to kids. (Sounds wrong to me. So if Barney’s the father, then who is Barney’s wife/husband?)
- Barney gives too much physical affection to the kids on his show. Quote, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, unquote. (Oh yes, did I mention Europeans often kiss kids on the lips?)
I remember watching Barney when I was little, and being bored by it all. In every episode, Barney would come alive from a plush toy and become the big purple
dinosaurpedophile. I think there’s a deeper meaning to all of this. I think what the producers are illustrating is that danger can come from anywhere, even from something/someone as helpless and docile as a soft toy. And that “danger”/pedophiles are very skilled in getting kids’ affection and trust. So parents, keep your kids close, and Barney further.
Above: Barney, “get in my van”. Barney the kidnapper is so good at what he does that he can kidnap kids without upsetting them (and thus see the smiles on their faces).
*Singapore Slang for Pedophile