I’m an April baby, so I’m a strong aries. I know most people do not believe in star signs and horoscopes; neither do I, but I do think that I epitomize an Aries. I’m quite strong-headed, fiery, impatient, and to an extent (because this is a trait that I have not seen in myself for a while, until recent events), choleric.
Did I mention that I’m an ESTJ too? Oh yes, in the title. According to 16personalities.com, ESTJs are “representatives of tradition and order, utilizing their understanding of what is right, wrong and socially acceptable to bring families and communities together”. They embrace “the values of honesty, dedication and dignity”, and “strong-willed”. We are hugely flawed people though. It says on the website: “people with the ESTJ personality type get so caught up in the facts and most effective methods that they forget to think of what makes others happy, or of their sensitivity”. We can also be “inflexible and stubborn” and desire to “set things right”.
Right, what a horrible, horrible combination. It’s like strong + strong-headed + strong-willed. Oh. My. God.
I’ve never really felt how bad being both Aries and ESTJ is, until recent events.
I’ve never “lost control” like that. Maybe some academic stuff. But not this. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think it’s really irresponsible for me to say so, but it’s soooo ESTJ. And that really sucks, knowing that it’s a part of my personality (although the good thing is that I’m now more aware of it and can control it better). I just get angry when efficiency is not reached, the idea of “why prolong something when it can be solved quickly?” and that’s really horrible.
I was also thinking about what could have warranted my anger. I did some brain-dumping (to friends (sorry!) and to my video cam (first time trying, works as well)). I think it’s a lot of pent-up resentment. This is not the first time it has happened (it happened for someone’s birthday as well) and I guess it’s fed-up x 2. Okay, make that x 4. It’s a lot of emotions carried over, which translated into more frustration and vexation. Plus, the culprits were people I actually thought I was close to; thus, there was a concomitant sense of betrayal. For that, I would like to apologise to whoever I’ve pissed off on the way (which is everyone).
Too tired to continue writing…