These feelings are not real.
It is simply admiration, that you feel for a FRIEND.
There is simply too much to do these days, and there is no time to DWELL on such useless things.
A year ago, you wouldn’t have even thought of it. Considered it. You’re simply in a very needy moment in your life, to even consider.
It’s hopeless anyway, it will only go one way, and it will just be a repeat.
Don’t screw yourself over, and the friendship up.