Today, I had a talk with some of my mates. It wasn’t exactly heart to heart but we did touch on some sensitive issues, namely, popularity. Before I write further. I would like to tell you the type of person I am. I am quite loud and well, a little hyperactive, that kind of person who loves playing pranks on others and try making everything fun. I tend to be a little too active and loud when I meet new people, people whom I don’t know, because as long as there are common topics to talk about, I will tend to treat the person as any good, fast friend of mine. As a result, I do not exactly make the best impressions as people tend to go,”Wait. I don’t even know you!”. Furthermore, not everyone likes my super hyper and extremely open attitude and my laughs-most people are generally more conservative. For example, I would probably be friends with a person for three minutes and declare openly that I fancy a particular person. And let’s just say I do fancy a particular person; I’ll probably be the one fangirling to everyone in the room, and well, my life and my preferences is not exactly the best kept secret. I do come across to be a little weird sometimes, like saying hello to everyone, but due to my active nature, I really sometimes can’t help being a little to friendly to people I do not know.
Before we started chatting about this issue, which they were quite hesitant to since I am not exactly Ms Popular, I swore that I wouldn’t get upset about it. I do have a group of really close friends,and even a best friend, Nichole, people who have always been lovely and supportive of me, people who are always a comfort to be around with. Thus, I am always kept in a bubble of my own blissful world of ignorance and misperception. You know, if you have such great friends, it’s not easy to feel unwanted, or think that you are unwanted. Yet, the knowledge that was to come is no doubt painful to accept.
Apparently, most people hate me across the level. People talk badly about me constantly and some people even had the nerve to comment about my gaping mouth,which never closes. I suppose my mouth is due to my slightly bucked front teeth, which makes it hard for my mouth to close, and this is obviously, an insecurity. Yet, what alarmed me was that these people were ones whom I have never talked to in my life, or had any proper, personal connection to me. These were the people who accept what they see and judge it, not only my personality but even my looks. What enraged and greatly saddened me was the fact that these people didn’t even know me, but went on hating me. That’s just so…sick. The worst thing is, I found out that this girl whom I have known through a leadership camp, a girl whom I was deluded enough to believe that she liked me and was who she portray herself to be, a girl I have even labeled the term ‘friend’ and given her an 8/10 on a Facebook friendship post, didn’t reciprocate my feelings of friendship. Instead, she hated me. Although I must admit that I am not exactly the best person to be around with in the group, five days of working together is not exactly enough time to truly understand a person, to learn about a person. Instead, all you get is a shadow of a person, of his/her original personality, like how I have foolishly believed that she was what her glamor is. This also caused a great deal of hurt because I have never done anything to directly offend her, and have always been nice, kind and polite to her. Civil behaviour. And this is how she has repaid my friendship. With dislike, hate and a stab at the back. Well, not exactly a stab but not many people not know about her dislike for me.
This chat has also reminded me how cruel and superficial people can be. Hating at a person at far, without even really knowing someone, is just downright despicable. Nobody’s perfect, and they have not even given me, as well as themselves the chance to learn about my positive traits before engulfing themselves with hate for the ones which they did not like. And judging someone by her looks? That’s just sick. Not to say shallow and superficial.
Sometimes, I am aware that I do offend some people. Like one of these mates. Yet, if they hated me, it would be fine, as then they’ll have a reason to hate. I don’t understand why people hate without reason, why they must find fault in the smallest things. Seriously, if I’m nice to them, what kind of a person are they to ignore all that and treat me as an enemy. I suppose I do look at people with an open heart as well as my friendships come too easily and I tend to consider everyone as a friend, until they have offended me. Why can’t people do they same, to be accepting of others unless something majorly offensive is done.
At the end of the day, I suppose there will be people hating on each other for the most superficial of all reasons and we can’t expect everybody to like us. Yet, sometimes, thinking about it does bring a stab to my heart and a little fluid in my eyes.